Sexual Purity: Lies vs Facts
We live in the most sexually saturated time in our country’s history thus far. With this being “pride month” it’s perhaps more pervasive than other times of the year, but not by much. What started as giving homosexual people the freedom to be with whomever they choose has become a landslide of pervasive public sexuality. In our western culture you’ll hear things like “love is love”, “my body, my choice”, and a number of other so-called “empowering” mantras.
What’s behind all of this? Why is this happening? What is going on in the hearts of the people who are a part of the movement? In my opinion, it’s a fundamental misunderstanding of sex.
Lie #1: Sex has rules because God likes to tell us what to do.
This lie is one you’ll hear mostly from people who don’t understand the purpose of rules. Rules (in their proper place) exist to guide someone to a better outcome than what they’d end up with on their own.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 (ESV) says: For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor.
Paul is saying that the point of obeying God’s rules about sex is so that we can practice self-discipline in holiness (becoming more like our savior) and honor (our dignity). We are commanded to be sexually pure as part of our sanctification, so that we can become more like Jesus.
Lie #2: The only rules in sex are pleasure and consent.
This is the message of our culture. As long as sex feels good for all parties involved and is consensual, it’s okay. Sex is for pleasure, and you can do with anyone that wants to do it with you.
But what does the Bible say about the context and purposes for sex?
The situation: Sex is only to be experienced by one man and one woman who are bound by a marriage covenant. (See Genesis 2:24 and 1 Corinthians 11:2)
The purposes: Sex exists…
to provide a physical example the spiritual intimacy. (Hosea, 2 Corinthians 11:2)
to foster intimacy between spouses. (Genesis 2:24)
to bring children into the world. (Genesis 1:28)
Because sex has the purposes, it can only be enjoyed by a husband and wife. Outside of that context, it no longer carries the meaning or provides the blessing that it was created for. Mama Bear Apologetics likes to say “Sex is the renewal of marriage vows.”, and you can’t renew something that was never there. Just like fire, sex is powerful. It holds the possibility to allow life to exist, or to take it. It is beautiful, but only when it is in its proper place.
Lie #3: Sex is purely physical.
Sex is a physical act, but what it represents and the effects that it has go way beyond the physical. The entire book of Hosea tells the tragedy of a woman who rejects her husband for other lovers. Her name is Gomer, and she represents Israel. If you’ve read the Old Testament you know that it’s full of the repeating story of God redeeming Israel to be his chosen people, and Israel falling away and worshiping false gods. In the book of Hosea, as well as elsewhere in the Bible, sexual fidelity is intrinsically tied to spiritual fidelity. Israel’s worship of false gods is called “whoring”.
In the New Testament we see a picture of a beautiful bride, pure and holy, who is to be presented to Jesus without spot or blemish by his power through the washing of water with the word. This pure bride represents the glorified people of God who will one day be able to celebrate the metaphorical marriage ceremony in honor of their perpetual faithful union to him.
“Let us rejoice and exult
and give him the glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
and his Bride has made herself ready;
it was granted her to clothe herself
with fine linen, bright and pure”
Revelation 19:7-8 (ESV)
The sexual guardrails that we are given through the Bible are a testament to its wisdom. When followed, they bring life, order, respect, and holiness. When not followed, they bring disorder, ruin, and chaos. The good news is: even though each one of us fails to attain the ideal spiritual or sexual purity, Jesus has provided a way for us to be reconciled to the Father despite our shortcomings. He did the hard work for us. He lived his whole life, being tempted to sin just as we are daily, but never gave in, so that his perfect life would be the spotless lamb that could atone for every wrongdoer who accepts it. He died to take away the guilt of our impurities and he rose again, God Victorious, and now intercedes for us. He gave us life-giving rules to invite us into a personal relationship based on his good authority. He is wise, and knows what we need. If we follow his rules, we will experience true freedom.
